The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 11 November 2011

Republican Presidential Candidate Exposes Himself On Live TV.

Repubican Presidential hopeful Rick Perry, pictured above, has shocked US TV audiences by exposing himself as a complete idiot after being unable to remember which federal departments he would cut. Asked afterwards whether he would now quit the race to the White House he replied; "This ain't a day for quitting nothing," - revealing that his English grammer isn't up to much either. Suspected of being under the influence of drugs or drink after his bizzare behaviour during a previous speech, his defence consisted of accusing the media of "character assassination." We asked a founding member of the "Grand Ole Party" for his view; "You have to realise that the Republican Party was founded on bad grammer, as the "Ole" in our title suggests, while our mascot is an elephant - an animal not noted for its deft footwork. Still this is not a disaster for good ole Rick - he wouldn't be the first village idiot that the party has managed to install in the Oval Office."

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