The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 8 November 2011

House Values Plummit - In Kabul

In what they obviously regard as breaking news the BBC has reported that property prices in the capital of Afghanistan have plummeted. We asked a BBC spokesperson if they are serious; "Absolutely. The property market in Afghanistan is a very serious problem. Since the present round of conflict began in 327BC during the invasion by Alexander the Great, the market in holiday properties has been particularly hard hit. There was a slight recovery after Alex married Roxanne, the daughter of a local warlord, but its been downhill ever since. There had been hopes that, after the British invasion of 1838, Kabul could be developed into a nice holiday spot but this was spoiled by a second invasion in 1878 which was utterly defeated. The Russians began a similar project after 1979 but that, too, ran into the sand. Since then the price of mud bricks has rocketed and restrictive trade practices by the Taliban, including killing anyone with an education, has seriously depressed the building industry there. Still, its not all bad news as many in the building trade have been employed in replastering the bullet holes across the city and the poppy crop this year has been rather good."

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