The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday 1 November 2011

Growth Funds Grows Already Profitable Tory Donators.


Nick Clegg's much publicised growth fund has benefitted just seven companies including the US automobile giant General Motors, the Spanish bank Santander and the German company Siemens. Meanwhile JCB has received a large portion of the £67 million handed out to Midlands manufacturers after donating to the Tory party to the tune of £4.5 million. We asked a Tory insider for his comments; "It's payback time isn't it? They hand us millions in "donations" to the party and we hand back tens of millions of taxpayers money in return. Good business if you ask me and everyone is a winner - except the taxpayer, of course, but they don't count." We asked about small manufacturers actually based in the UK; "Small manufacturers? Why would we care about them? They give us hardly any money at all and, anyway, they're British so don't count either. The Tory party only deals with the big boys. We're not interested in pifling businesses without the resources to offer really big bribes. We're in government now, not in opposition." But why would Nick Clegg, who after all is a LibDem, go along with this, we asked. "Nick Clegg a Lib Dem? Really?"

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