Osborne Reveals Strategy For Fixing Capitalism.

In several moves yesterday George Osborne revealed his plans for tackling the crisis in capitalism. These include making it easier to sack people, refusing to tax the wealthy, refusing to stimulate the economy and finishing off the unions in Whitehall. "I suddenly realised that the whole world system was driven onto the rocks because we have too much democracy and not enough people doing as they are told without asking questions. What we need is more not less neocon economic theory. My ultimate aim is make the poor utterly destitute and make the rich even richer - then everything will be all right. All this can only be achieved if we remove the rights of workers once and for all. Then the finance industry can get back to doing the wonderful job its done up to yet and to giving us loads and loads of money for serving their interests at the expense of everyone else. That, in a nutshell, is plan A." We asked people in the street for their reaction; "I don't understand these things," one man told us, "because I'm only interested in football and lager." "I don't like Ed Milliband," one woman said, "he's got a fuuny nose, but I think George Osborne is quite cute so I'm going to vote Conservative at the next election." We asked a banker for his reaction. "It looks like we've gotten away with it and the unions are going to get the blame - talk about irony! I don't know how he's done it but good old George has managed to turn the whole world on its head."