The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 15 October 2011

Tories Launch "House Swop" Idiocy.

Housing Minister Grant Shapps has launched a "house swop" programme to encourage the unemployed to seek work around the country. "It's a brilliant concept," Mr.Shapps told our reporter. "People living in areas of high unemployment swop houses with people in low unemployment areas so everyone can take turns being unemployed. Of course it will only apply to council tenants and their houses - I mean you wouldn't want someone from Leeds swopping with someone from Belgravia would you? I look at it as a country-wide game of "musical chairs" or "pass the parcel," and who doesn't like party games?" We asked the Minister what the point of all this would be exactly; "Point? What do you mean point? It gets me headlines and, if people fail to think about for more than ten seconds, they might even believe the government's doing something about unemployment short of actually creating jobs. What more do you want?"

No comments:

Post a Comment