The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 24 October 2011

Tories Appoint Dead Peer As An "Enterprise Advisor"


David Cameron, the world's first part-time Prime Minister, as appointed a new "Enterprise Advisor" in the form of Lord Young pictured above. The venerable peer, long thought to have died during the Thatcher era, is the same peer who resigned last year because he said that people "have never had it so good" - a quote from another dead Tory, Harold McMillan. We asked him for a comments about his new role; "I see it as cutting through all the red tape that surrounds business. Things like health and safety, the minimum wage, rights for workers and, of course, those people from the seventh circle of Hell - the Unions. I fully believe that if employers could kill their workers with impunity, pay them next to nothing and have the right to stifle all opposition, then business in Britain would surge ahead and create the kind of nation we could all be afraid of - sorry, proud of. All business problems can be solved by persecuting the workers - everyone who counts knows that."

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