The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 16 October 2011

William Hague Calls For Non-Protest Protest.

Speaking on the BBC today William Hague, the Minister in charge of annoying foreigners, has called on protestors to protest without protesting. "Yes," he told the BBC interviewer, "the political elite stood by and did nothing as the finance industry went collectively insane and then handed over billions in taxpayers money to save them from their own stupidity. And, yes, the recession is more in the way of a mugging than a recession - but is that any reason to protest? I think not. What people should do is occupy their couches, do nothing, express no opinions at all and shell out cash to people who simply don't deserve it. That's my idea of democracy - everyone doing as they're bloody told. If people want to protest they should send a very polite letter to their MP and ask for a lecture on how stupid they are. People must realise that we know what's best for them and they should simply worship us from afar. Democracy is not about expressing your opinion - it's about supporting mine."

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