The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Tories Continue With Blame Game.

In a week where the British domestic economy has continued its nosedive, Europe has come back to bite the Tories and poverty has refused to go away, David Cameron has reverted to the usual Tory tactic of blaming the victims. In the cse of the economy it was a tale of how the debt crisis in Greece was affecting Britain's economic performance; "Oh yes," he told our reporter, "there can be no doubt that the crisis in a currency we are not part of and the economic crisis in a country in which we have little financial interest has blown us off course. This is due to a contra-ratating eliptical movement in the Eurozone which has resulted in many of our export companies pocketing profits instead of investing. As to poverty - as I said to the Blessed St. Margaret Thatcher only yesterday - we can make poverty a thing of the past. All we have to do is cut the poor off from any benefits and they'll all be dead in a fortnight. Problem solved. In any case I blame the last Labour government for all this since they resolutely refused to utterly destroy the economy in order to save us the trouble. I believe in small government - the less we have to do for our money the better as far as I'm concerned."

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