The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Queen Responsible For Housing Shortage.

In a shock finding today the Intergenerational Foundation has announced that Her Majesty the Queen is almost single-handidly responsible for the housing shortage in Britain. "The problem," a spokesperson for the Foundation told our reporter, "is that the older generation are clinging on to their homes even though their children have left home. This has led to millions of spare bedrooms around the country while younger people, who have left home, can't find accomodation in the place they've moved to. This is particuarly accute in London, Windsor, East Anglia and Scotland - places where Her Maj owns very large houses with hundreds of bedrooms. If she could be persuaded to downsize into a two bedroom semi we might start to make some progress in these places and it will set a good example to other pensioners. Of course we can't compel older people to sell their houses to landlords, who can't wait to get their hands on these houses and pack them full of students, but a bit of gentle blackmail wouldn't go amiss." We asked the government for thier view; "The Foundation is talking about wealthy people and, as everyone knows, they cannot be touched in the present economic crisis. We don't see this problem in generational terms but rather in terms of the young having unrealistic goals. They simply cannot expect to have an education, a job or a place to live in modern Britain. Their future has already been spent on second homes in France and Spain and, consequently, I'm afraid they'll have to lump it."

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