The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Liam Fox Blackmails David Cameron.

Liam Fox has today launched a two-pronged attack to keep his job. Curiously neither of them actually involved answering any questions about his conduct. The first was aimed at the media which was subjected to a "I am a statesman bravely going about my difficult job" campaign. The second took the form of briefing against his own leader, David Cameron, in the "Telegraph." "If David Cameron fires me," he told reporters, "it will show that's he's weak. Far better for him to be accused of being corrupt like me and too frightened of his own cabinrt ministers to take any action against them. As far as I'm concerned its a win/win situation." We asked him about his relationship with Adam Werritty; "Oh, you mean that bloke who keeps turning up wherever I happen to be in the world. I don't actually know him even though he was my best man at my wedding. To be honest I'm begining to wonder if he's not a stalker. All I can say is that he roams the world, turns up wherever I am, says nothing, offers no advice or opinions to anyone and then goes home again- all this for no money whatsoever. It's all a bit of a mystery - or at least I'd like it to be."

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