The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 28 October 2011

Directors Pay In Top British Companies Rises By 50%.

While the vast majority of ordinary British citizens struggle to meet their bills, fear for their jobs, accept derisory pay "increases" that don't even keep pace with inflation and are crucified by government, fatcat company directors of top companies have awarded themselves a staggering 50% pay increase in the last year. We asked a leading company spokesman for the reason; "Well, we all know the world economy is buggered - we should, we buggered it - so we're basically feathering our own nests before the soft stuff hits the fan. Think of it like the Titanic. The ship's sinking and the first class passengers have grabbed all the lifeboats leaving the rest of you scum to thrash about in the freezing water." We asked a leading economist from Oxford University what could be done to curb corporate greed; "Having carefully analysed market trends and studied corporate psychology my solution is to hang the son's of bitches from the nearest lamp post. They won't stop grabbing as much money as they can lay their sticky fingers on until the life's choked out of them. These people are not simply greedy they are positively evil and should be expunged for the good of the human race. Either that or we could politely ask them to desist. It's up to you."

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