The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 28 October 2011

Cameron: Director's Pay and Protestors Both Causes For "Concern"

David Cameron, famous for being the world's first part-time Prime Minister has expressed his "concern" over director's pay and the St.Paul's protestors. "It must be a matter of concern when director's award themselves huge pay rises while ordinary people find it increasingly hard to make ends meet. Not too much to be honest since I've always believed that the wealthy have a God-given right to do whatever they like. So I shall approach this problem with a touch of false disaproval and a large amount of total unconcern. Now when it comes to the protestors I will approach this with a touch of false support for democracy and a large amount of utter disdain. These people, if they really want to protest, should stay at home and write letters to the "Times" and suchlike. Protest is perfectly acceptable as long as it isn't effective or inconvenient for anyone. In this case St.Paul's is losing money and, as everyone knows, the Church of England was originally set up as a profit-making concern. I am quite sure that Jesus would approve of evicting the protestors given his own bad experience of annoying the authorities and the loss of income this caused him being killed and whatnot."

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