The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Mike Hancock: Probably The Sexiest Man In Parliament.

Mike Hancock, pictured above and the LibDem MP at the centre of a spying scandal, has been revealed as the sexiest man in Parliament after resigning from the Commons defence committee. "You either have to believe that my young, blonde girlfriend, Katia Zatulveter is a Russian spy, or that I am so incredibly attractive that young women fall at my feet," Mr.Hancock told our reporter. "As you can see I have more than a passing resemblance to George Clooney and it is that, rather than any possibility of spying, that explains why this very attractive girl spent so much time trying to suck my face off. I've always had this effect on young Russian women. But, when you're as handsome, witty and debonair as myself you get used to it. It is sheer coincidence, of course, that Katia has been in the habit of "cultivating" politicians with defence connections. My view is that this girl cannot resist men like me since its a well known fact that politicians are the sexiest men on the planet - me especially."

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