The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 29 October 2011

London Under Attack By Filthy Foreigners.

David Cameron has warned that the City of London is under attack from Europe. "Johnnie Foreigner is at it again," he told our reporter. "Having heroically beaten them off twice during the 20th century I call on the British people to resist, once again, the forces of evil that are ranged against us. Led by Brussels, filthy foreigners are attempting to regulate our finance industry and take away their freedom to do whatever they want. This is an affront to the traditional freedom of the City to steal whatever it can get its hands on without worrying about the consequences. We are already having to deal with a sneak attack on St.Paul's Cathedral from a fifth column of traitorous concerned citizens that might well have been successful if not for a timely counter-attack by the Church of England. As we once battled against the evils of Nazism we must now battle against the evils of regulation. We will fight them on the beaches...."

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