The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday 17 October 2011

Women Hate Tories Too.

In a personal shock to David Cameron a new poll has shown that women are not as stupid as he was hoping. "I don't understand it," the part-time Prime Minister told our political editor. "I've been as condescending as I can, telling them repeatedly to "calm down dear" but they haven't responded as they should. I know that, as women, they don't have much understanding of politics and tend to become hysterical over nothing but that's no excuse is it? I keep telling them that we are a new compassionate Troy Party but, for some reason I can't fathom, they don't seem to believe me. I've asked George Osborne to look into it because he was always better with the girlies than I was - but he doesn't understand it either. We've both been getting letters from constituents of the female species whittering on about "the cost of living" and child care costs. My little wife has no problem balancing busy coffee mornings with her children's needs and all that only costs £500 per week, so what's the problem?"

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