The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 31 October 2011

Liam Fox Hoping To Return To Front Bench.

Liam Fox has told the BBC that he hopes to return to the front benches in the near future. "I was hounded out of my job by the press who seem to think they can do anything they like," he said. "The press might be free, but I'm the only one who's free to do whatever he likes. Anyway, all I did was allow a personal friend, who just so happened to be working as the agent of a foreign power, to follow me about the world pretending he worked for the government and fixing up shady deals in meetings he had no business attending. I mean, what's wrong with that? Being a backbencher has its advantages to be honest - I'm now free to say what I want as well as doing what I like. The downside is that I don't get the bungs I used to and I can no longer afford to galavant about the world, striking heroic poses and pretending to be important. Still I now have time to do little jobs about the house - installing a safe in my bedroom to keep the bribes in, that sort of thing."

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