The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

George Osborne Rewards Tax Dodgers.

The deal hammered about between Britain and Switzerland over tax avoidance will return less money than the government claims and, with the loopholes left in it, might actually cost more than is collected. We asked George Osborne pictured above for his view; "I know, brilliant isn't it? Working out tax loopholes that wouldn't be immediately obvious was quite a challenge I can tell you. It's no good having a deal like this if any Tom, Dick or Harry can work out what you've been up to. In fact the loopholes are so obscure it should guarantee the future for such useful people as lawyers, accountants and finance advisors for many years. Since most of my friends and most MP's just so happen to be lawyers, accountants and financial advisors, this will prove very popular in the country - or at least in that part of the country that counts for anything. Its also a great relief to know that I can no longer be prosecuted for illiegally keeping funds in Switzerland without paying tax under present British rules. That's the brill thing about being in government - you can pass laws that protect yourself while, at the same time, screwing everyone else."

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