More Workers Rights To Be Abolished.

In a move to reduce workers protection to even lower levels, charges of unfair dismissal will not be allowed in the first two years of employment. Under the guise of helping small businesses this change will "inadvertently" allow large businesses and multi-nationals do pretty much as they like to their workers. "This is a very welcome development," a spokesman for the CBI told our reporter, "and will save small businesses £6 million per year. Of course it will save bigger companies a whole lot more and they will be able to treat people like the scum they are - so that's good isn't it? Personally I can't wait to try it out on my new secretary when she complains about me rubbing her up." A government spokesman added; "We will find this particularly useful when it comes to getting rid of even more civil servants and public sector workers. We've already given ourselves permission to lie when we advertise positions in the civil service by pretending they're permanent when they're actually only temporary. Now when recruits find that they're only taken on for 18 months they'll have no redress against us at all." Asked for his view David Cameron told us; "This is a great day for business in Britain. After the next election I'm sure we'll have no trouble getting our "Day Labour and Volunteer Or Else" legislation through. It's time for people to realise in this country that working is a privilage and not a right and that being paid a reasonable wage is simply out of the question."