Tories Talk To Yet More Crminal Organizations.

After it was revealed that the Tory party has been negotiating with various criminal organizations in the health industry, it is now revealed that they have been doing it in the education industry as well. David Willetts has been in talks with two organizations, the Education Management Corporation and Apollo, both of which are under Congressional investigation in the United States. We asked Mr.Willetts for an explaination; "Look we all know there's a funding crisis in higer education - we ought to know since we created it - and that there are too many poor students going to university. Our scheme is to flog off higher education to these crooks so they can generate the kind of profits that lead to "donations" to the Tory party. We also confidently expect them to flog dodgy courses to fake students from abroad who will then flood into the country to do those crimes that British criminals simply won't do. If we can devalue other degrees we can then get back to a position where the real universtities, Oxford and Cambridge, regain their premier places. This is all about the future of children from ordinary families and we are determined that they won't have one."