The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 2 September 2013

Boris Johnson Calls For New Syria Vote.

Boris Johnson, pictured above with his latest girlfriend, has called for another Parliamentary vote on military action against Syria. We asked the Mayor why; "Well, we didn't get what we wanted the first time around. The vast majority of the country might not want it and the Labour party might not what want it, but so what? The Tory party has done pretty well so far ignoring public opinion and discounting democracy, so why not carry on regardless? Nick Clegg has said that such a vote is not on the cards but what does he know? We have to consider poor David Cameron in all this. Not only has been exposed as politically inept and unable even to organise a fairly routine vote in Parliament, he's also been made to look like a complete pillock on the world stage. This must and can be reversed in the interests of Britain which, as far as I am concerned, are identical with the interests of the Tory party. The vote has re-established a dangerous idea in British politics that Parliament is sovereign and this must be reversed before the country becomes ungovernable, trade unions take over and we all sink into an abyss in which voting actually means something. At the same time a new vote would re-establish the political principle that, when under fire at home for unpopular policies, launch some cruise missiles at a Middle-Eastern country. All good reasons, I'm sure you'll agree, to start World War III and unleash a nuclear holocaust."

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