The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 12 September 2013

Councils Plunder Art Collections For Cash.

Councils up and down the country are eying what they consider to be "their" art collections as a possible source of cash. Starved of funds by the Tories these councils are having to make a calculation between keeping valuable public art collections or flogging it off to the very fatcats who created the financial crisis in the first place. The fact that these collections actually belong to the people who paid for them - the taxpayer - is neither here nor there. We asked a spokesman for the Tory party for their reaction; "All property is theft - if its owned by ordinary people that is. Working class scum in this country should not be allowed to own valuable art works that they can't appreciate any more than they should have extra bedrooms. Such things should only be owned by the rich because their huge amounts of cash stored in offshore bank accounts proves that they have more refined tastes. It's all a matter of fairness. Its fair that rich people should have many bedrooms as they like and the walls of these rooms have to be covered with something. Big canvasses will do the job nicely but there are not enough to go around. Taking paintings from public galleries, where they are merely gawped at by a bunch of working-class thickos, and flogging them off to rich people like me and my mates is a far better idea I'm sure you'll agree. The money raised can be used for more urgently needed things such as converting art galleries into offices for those engaged in administering our more than fair withdrawal of the bedroom subsidy - which is fair despite what a bunch of United Nations pinko do-gooders might say."

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