The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 16 September 2013

Benefit Cheats To Get 10 Years As Corporate Tax Dodgers Get Kinghthoods.

The Tory junta, with the eager support of the turncoat Lib Dems, has announced that prison sentences for benefit cheats will be extended to 10 years. In the meantime corporate tax dodgers such as Lord Ashcroft and Lord Freud will continue to get away with it as the Chancellor resolutely refuses to close loopholes in the tax laws. We asked the Chancellor why this is; "Benefit cheats are ordinary people and their crimes are minor compared to those of corporations. It is fitting then that punishments for benefit cheats should be Draconian while those for Tory party donators should be non-existent. After all it is unreasonable to suppose that a benefit cheat will donate to the Tory party isn't it? We have to be fair about this and it is only fair that those who bribe us should be given the advantages that they want. We have proven, to our satisfaction at least, that it was benefits cheats that brought down the world economic system and that all unemployed people and cripples are actually benefit cheats. It's quite simple - all benefit cheats are unemployed, therefore all the unemployed are benefit cheats. On the other hand all tax dodgers are Tory supporters, therefore all Tory supporters should be able to dodge tax as a right."

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