The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday 25 April 2012

Tories Return Britain Into A Recession.

In a triumph for the Tory party, David Cameron and George Osborne have managed to return Britain into recession with none of the key industries making any headway whatsoever. Nor could the Office for National Statistics, despite racking their brains, find any external reason for this - no bad weather, no good weather, no unexpected holidays and no Royal weddings. The unvarnished truth is that the Tories have driven the economy down onto its knees with malice aforethought. They have taken neoliberal economic thought and flogged us to death with it. The government itself has pointed to Europe, blaming our largest trading partners for our own self-inflicted woes. The Budget was the most unfunny joke that the Tories have thrust down our throats so far, but their sheer incompetence cannot be hidden any longer - they have achieved a double-dip recession and deflated the British economy at just the wrong crucial moment. They have undermined income when what is really needed is a stimulus to final demand. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

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