The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 9 April 2012

Boris Steals £5.3 Million From The Homeless.

It seems that Boris Johnson, often regarded as an amiable bufoon, is neither amiable nor a bufoon. That at least is the conclusion of several homelessness charities who would like to know where over £5 million in government money has gone. The cash, intended to help people forced to sleep rough by this "caring" government, has simply disappeared and there has been no undertaking from Boris that it will be refunded. We asked the Mayor for a comment but he was too busy arranging tickets for his mates at the forthcoming Olympic junket. Instead we received this statement from his office; "Unfortunately the money was needed for more important purposes such as the campaign fund for the re-election of Boris, purchasing bicycles for the staff to impress the Green lobby and a champagne reception for the "Get Ken Livingstone Committee."

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