The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 21 April 2012

Bahrain Formula One Race Goes Ahead.

Despite rioting in the streets and the death of one protestor the Formula One race in Bahrain is to go ahead. The BBC have made to case for the race to take place with commendable forthrightness; "If the race is cancelled a great many selfish, stupid and greedy people will lose money and the government of Bahrain will look like a bunch of dicks." The BBC was also quick to praise the multi-millionaire drivers who; "Are able to compartmentalise their minds and ignore other people's plight in the single-mided pursuit of money." It was also full of praise for our government which is able to distinguish between civil unrest in countries we don't like such as Syria, and the civil unrest in countries we do like such as Bahrain. "The difference is that Syria has a repressive government who say nasty things about us, while Bahrain has a repressive government that buys lots of arms and ammunition from us," William Hague carefully explained to our reporter. "Heaven forbid that protest against a repressive and corrupt regime should stop a sporting event," he went on to say. "It might give the peasants in this country ideas during the Olympics."

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