The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 21 July 2012

Nigel Lawson Advises Cameron To Be More Like Thatcher.

Nigel Lawson, yet another Tory has-been with too much time on his hands and not enough brain power to light a 5 watt bulb, has advised David Cameron to stop copying Tony Blair and be more like Margaret Thatcher. "I simply don't understand why Cameron refuses to model himself on Thatcher. It is the duty of any Tory leader to give the peasants in Britain a jolly good thrashing and I don't think he has the right attitude. He's allowed unemployment to fall recently and has made the serious mistake of giving the peasants some reason for optimism. What we actually need is more tax cuts for the rich and more deregulation so that big-business can get down to its primary task of ripping off the British public. He made a good start by encouraging suicide amongst cripples and other worthless people in this country, but has failed to follow through a similar campaign against working class children who are responsible for all our problems and are seriously under-represented in the suicide figures. I think it would be a good thing for Cameron to start listening to Margaret whose recent descent into dementia has improved her Tory thinking no end. However I continue to believe that, if we can come up with a few more simplistic and insane ideas, we can still fool the public into giving us the necessary votes to win an outright majority and complete the task of turning back the clock to the 1840's."

1 comment:

  1. This one's still topical. Cameron could still follow Thatcher's example (but let's not have such a lavish funeral).