The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 6 July 2012

Economists Re-Discover The Keynes Boson.

In a parallel discovery to that at CERN it is reported that economists have rediscovered the fabled Keynes Boson - the particle that imparts integrity into the banking universe. Named after the economist John Maynard Keynes, the Keynes Boson has always been known to exist but was replaced, in theoretical economics, by the Hyek Boson in 1979 in order to release the immense energy contained within the criminality nucleus. Theoretical economists have long known that the Hyek Boson has no foundation in reality but presented it as an alternative to wealthy politicians looking to avoid the black hole of taxation for themselves and their rich mates. Heralded as a great success when introduced by Margaret Thatcher, the Hyek Boson not only dispenses with the need for integrity in banking, it also completely dispenses with the need for fairness. Unfortunately the Hyek Boson also has the disastrous side effect that has been largely ignored for 30 years - it unravels economic reality and turns banks into super-massive black holes from which nothing can escape - especially light. The rediscovery of the Keynes Boson has not been universally welcomed and we asked George Osborne, an enthusiastic believer in the Hyek Boson, for his reaction; "Its a bleeding disaster. How the hell can I protect my money from the taxation black hole if fairness is restored to the economic universe? What is needed is a new meeting of the G20 so the Keynes Boson can be undiscovered once and for all."

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