The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

The Survival Of The Nastiest.

The Tories are continuing to outline their bleak vision of the future today with Cameron now declaring war against the under 25's. Having punished those the Tories helped to put out of work and savaged the disabled they now have our children and grandchildren in their sights. "Now we have made a start on denying the young any kind of future we must next turn them into the same kind of savage brutes that we are," Cameron told the Tory conference. "We are boldly preparing school-leavers for the nasty and primitive society that we intend to create. No longer will people be able to speak of the "haves and the have not's", there will only be the "haves" because the "have not's" will then be the "have nothing at all's". Our vision is of a society in which there is no such thing as altruism, where every decision will be based on what is best for me and in which there is no place for anyone with less than a £1 million stashed in an offshore bank. Everyone else will be regarded as scum fit only to be forced into overcrowded housing with parents so feckless that they have completely neglected to become millionaires. This will be a society based not on the survival of the fittest but the survival of the nastiest and no one is more nasty than us. For many years lefty science fiction writers have talked about dystopia. After 2015 this will no longer be fiction, it will be a hard fact. Our hope is that the poor will no longer be with us because they will all be dead and buried."

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