The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

The Great Tory Pic N' Mix.

For nearly three years now we've been bombarded with excuses by Cameron and Osborne as they have desperately sought to explain away Britain's lamentable economic performance. "The winters have been too cold", "the summers too hot", "there's not enough rain", "there's too much rain", "there are too many bank holidays", "it's all the fault of Europe", "workers have too many rights" and "it's Labour wot done it." Now suddenly, as tentative figures suggest that the recession might have abated between July and September, the bounce afforded by the Olympics is "of little significance". Basking in the warmth of positive growth for the first time since they came to power, they are now falling over themselves to give the credit for this to their insane economic policies. This reporter can hardly wait to see what excuse they come up with when we enter a triple-dip recession.

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