The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 13 October 2012

George Osborne Discovers Economics.

George Osborne has been doing great deal of thinking since he was booed at the Paralympics and was faced by the stoney hostility of his own party at the Tory conference in Birmingham. Having reflected on his sudden lack of popularity he has come to the conclusion that it might have something to do with the disaster that he calls the British economy. Once he had reached that conclusion the next step was all too plain - he would simply have to learn something about economics over the weekend. Turning to his copy of "Being the Chancellor of the Exchequer for Dummies" he made the amazing discovery that economic problems are a world-wide phenomenum and are not, after all, entirely the fault of the Labour party. He quickly identified the most dangerous threat facing the world economy - an economic dowturn in either Europe, the US, the emerging economies or, heaven forbid, all three. Such economic downturns would be the consequence of a lack of demand in any or perhaps all of these areas. Armed now with an understanding of the role that demand plays in both national and the world economy, he then came to his startling conclusion. It was all the fault of other countries who are deflating their economies through a self-defeating programme of austerity. At the IMF he placed his insight at the disposal of Johnnie Foreigner; "In general, western countries face a sink or swim question which the prime minister posed or, as he also put it, do or decline," he told them, adding, "In UK we are doing rather than declining. We are confronting our problems and the reforms that are required and tackling our debts." In other words he was saying that what they are doing is undermining the world economy because of their austerity programmes, while what he is doing bolstering the British economy through a programme of austerity. Confused? So is George Osborne.

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