The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Saturday, 30 June 2012

Benefits Claimant Sets Fire To Himself.

Two people were left fuming outside of government buildings yesterday, both desperate for someone to notice them. The first was Hugh Robertson, the government Olympics Minister, who had forgotten his security pass. The second was an unnamed benefits claimant outside the Jobcentre in Selly Oak Birmingham who had been left without money after being declared fit for work and his dasablement entitlement was withdrawn. Hugh Robertson reacted by throwing a tantrum and telling the security guards, “I’m the Olympics minister. You should damn well know who I am,” and “I’m on the television all the time.” It was a display of typical Tory arrogance and simply demonstrated that Mr. Hughs is not as famous or as important as he likes to imagine. The second, unknown, man was a little more dramatic in his reaction and far more desperate - he set fire to himself. The first was miffed because his dignity had been pricked, for the second it was literally a matter of life and death. While the rest of the country is preparing to watch the Olympics on their goggle-boxes, and various rich and over-privileged nonentities show off by actually going to the games, many people in this country are looking forward to destitution and a life sleeping rough on the streets. While bankers lie, cheat, steal and quaff their champagne and politicians lie, cheat, steal and quaff their champagne, ordinary people are being driven to suicide. Is this the price that Cameron tells us is worth paying to save the banks from themselves?

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