The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Friday, 1 June 2012

Britain Readies Itself To Celebrate 1,000 Years of Slavery.

The statues at Westminster say a great deal about this country and about the myths that sustain its skewed view of itself. Hard by Westminster Bridge we have Boudicca, a Celtic Queen of the Icenii, whose statue would more properly sited in Cardiff. Not far away stands the statue of Richard I, a King who spent less than 6 months in England throughout his 10-year reign and who spoke no English whatsoever. 1,000 years ago a gangster who specialised in protection rackets gathered together a bunch of thugs on horseback and butchered the elected, yes elected, King of England. Having won the Battle of Hastings, William the Conquerer then embarked on a shakedown of the country that included the ethnic cleaning of the North. It wasn't until 1216 that anyone manged to even loosen the grip of the Norman mobsters who had seized the country and, even then, Magna Carter was little more than a subdivision of the national cake by another bunch of bully-boys. Through a series of homicidal maniacs,sex offenders, wife beaters and family murderers we have, after 1,000 years of this nonsense, ended up with a Royal Family that is German in origin, not that bright and utterly dependent on a state that cannot afford them. Yet these people are held up as a national icon, proof positive that "breeding" will produce a superior kind of human being. The Queen, through a tortuous route, can trace her ancestry back to an Irish Dark Age warlord called Niall of the Nine Hostages. Funnily enough so can the editor of "The News In Shorts." Him and 12 million other people in this country. Perhaps we should all share the throne along with the other 10 million who can trace their ancestry back to Edward I and the 60-odd million whose families can also be traced back a long way - about 150,000 years like everyone else on the planet.

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