The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 5 August 2012

Nick Clegg Eyes Europe As An Escape Tunnel.

Nick Clegg, an idiot of with an outstanding lack of political acumen, is reported to be eyeing up a job as Britain's EU Commissioner as a means to escape the mess he's made of his party over the last two years. While membership of the LibDem party has plummeted by 25% in the last year alone and Nick Clegg has managed to sell out their entire supply of political "principles", he is thinking about his own future career. He is also seeking the means to abandon reform of the House of Lords without losing too much face - a quest that seems doomed to abject failure - and avoid a conflict with his Tory pals that might end in a general election and the decimation of the LibDem Party. While muttering darkly about refusing to support Tory plans to rig the political bounderies, Nick is actually engaged in negotiations with David Cameron for an extra ministry for the LibDems. Having sold the NHS down the river for Lord's reform, he is now preparing to sell that down the river in return for an extra ministerial car. Oh well, Nick, when you sup with the devil you need a long spoon.

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