The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 15 August 2012

Jeremy Hunt Fantasises About The Olympics.

Jeremy Hunt, the most brazen liar in the Tory party and the man appointed by Cameron to get the Murdoch bid for BSkyB through on a nod and wink, has lied through his teeth about the economic benefits of the Olympics. With a total disregard for the truth Hunt has claimed that the games were "a very good period" for tourism in London. Meanwhile businesses were counting the cost of one of the most disastrous two weeks in the history of the London tourist industry with some of them fearful that they will not survive the winter. Hotel bookings were down by a third while Heathrow Airport reported that arrivals on the day before the Olympics opened were not as high as on a typical Thursday. Nor are the disappointing figures confined purely to London with tourism reported to be down across the country from Bath to Edinburgh. However the Tories have realised that simply lying about the figures won't butter any parsnips so they've scrapped the legal requirement stipulating how much outside space each school must provide for their pupils. This will make the flogging of school playing fields to their rich mates a lot easier and will do wonders for the Tory party's balance of payment problems even if it does nothing for that of the country as a whole. Proudly boasting that two of his children attend a school with no green space to play on he told our reporter; "Why would they need a playing field when they're learning more important things such as how to steal money from poor people? As for poor kids - they should be out earning a living not wasting their time chasing sporting dreams that we in the Tory party fully intend they'll never achieve."

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