The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 6 August 2012

Lousie Mensch Puts Her Family First.

While Nick Clegg eyes Europe as a possible escape route, Louise Mensch has decided to jump ship completely and move to the United States. She is doing this apparently in the interests of her family, so we asked the Tory pin-up girl for a statement. "Having helped to inflict incalculable harm on everyone else's family I have decided to move to the United States before my family suffers. I have chosen to live in the United States because that's where my rich husband keeps his money and you can get the best medical care that money can buy there. I realised that, after privatisation of the NHS, healthcare in Britain would soon be expensive and as shoddy as all privately-delivered services in Britain. Let's face it Britain is finished - and I ought to know since I've certainly done my best to finish it off. The loss of LibDem support was the final straw since I realised that I didn't have a cat in hell's chance of being elected to parliament again. The only thing I'll miss is the unlimted expense account. So its so long and thanks for all the money."

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