The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 13 August 2012

BBC In Disarray.

The BBC is reported to be in total disarray tonight following the closing ceremony of the Olympics. We asked a BBC insider for an explanation for what was going on; "Now the Olympics are over many at the BBC feel that we should have made provision for a return to normal news gathering. Unfortunately we can't report on the total disaster that the coalition government represents for fear of upsetting our new Tory mates. Ever since Murdoch was exposed as the lowlife he actually is the Tories have had no choice but to try and butter us up and, with our budget up for review every year, we feel that we have to play ball. To make matters worse we can't find a single story about the Royal family to distract people from reality now the Jubilee and royal wedding are over. We've been handed a bit of a lifeline with the start of the football season but many of us here don't think it will be enough. The real problem is that we've been a news-free zone for so long now we've forgotten how to do it. And what are we going to do with all that outside broadcast gear? David Cameron's idea to keep showing that 1950's film of a potter's wheel is all very well, but its not even in colour. I'm thinking of quitting and joining Al-Jazeera, though the job as Boris Putin's spin doctor has got a lot to recommend it. Say what you like about the Russian President, at least he's nicer bloke than Cameron."

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