Ken Clarke and Theresa May Kiss and Make Up.

David Cameron grabbed Ken Clarke and Theresa May by the scruff of their necks today and made them shake hands in the wake of the "Cat Flap." We caught Ken Clarke outside of No.10 and asked him in front of his colleagues exactly what he meant when he said that Theresa May's story about the cat and the illegal immigrant was "laughable and childlike." "Ah well, what I actually meant was that the story was very amusing and that I admired Theresa May's childlike enthusiasm for her job." We then asked him what he meant when he was overheard to describe George Osborne as a "tosser." "Ah well, I was talking about George's amusing habit of flipping a coin while he speaks in cabinet." We then asked him what he meant when he called the Queen "an incorrigible benefit scrounger who should find a proper job." Ken turned very red at this stage and, amid a corus from his colleagues of "Go on Clarkey, he ran off down the street to his waiting Jaguar. We asked our psychology correspondent for his view of Ken Clarke's habit of talking out of turn and he told us. "He's got what psychologists call a big gob."