Liam Fox Aologises For Being A Liar But Not For Being Corrupt.

Liam Fox, ahead of a preliminary investigation scheduled to land on the PM's desk tommorow, has publicly apologised for "mistakes." We asked him what he's apologising for exactly; "Well I admit I made some "mistakes" over Adam Werritty. These "mistakes" included lying about him accompanying me on official business, lying about meetings he set up with arms dealers and lying to get him offices in Westminster at tax payers expense. However, none of these "mistakes" amount to corruption since no one can prove that I trousered any money for this. Everything I did was out of the kindness of my heart and from a real desire to help the poor - in this case poor arms dealers and poor American healthcare lobbyists. It might look like wrongdoing to anyone with a single working brain cell but you have my word, as a hardworking MP and Tory Minister, that I've told a fib in my life. Honest - cross your heart and hope you die." We asked Adam Werritty for his view; "Liam's just a good mate. You know - the kind that gets free junketts all over the world at tax payers expense, sets up arms deals for backhanders and lines up buyers for the NHS when Liam and his Tory mates get their hands on it. I mean, we've all got mates likes that haven't we."