Tories No Longer Trust Tories.

In a shock today for David Cameron it has been revealed that even the Tory party doesn't believe a word he says. "This used to be a really nice political party," a Tory insider told "The News In Shorts." "We'd show up at Westminster, settle down with a good whisky and soda and nod off, safe in the knowledge that we could ignore the lies told to us by the leader since they were in our interests. In those days we could choose to believe what we were told right up until the moment we stabbed the leader in the back. Now we have to have our wits about us I can tell you. I understand him lying about unemployment, the economy and poverty - unimportant stuff like that - but he's now lying about Europe as well. Everyone knows that nothing is more important to us than distrusting Johnnie Foreigner and his evil socialist ways and being lied to on this subject is unchartered territory for us. He promised us that, once in power, we'd be able to leave the EU and take up our old position of trading with the American Colonies and the rest of the Empire. He even promised that we could nuke Paris if we liked. Now he seems to be reneging - encouraging more integration in Europe, talking to Johnnie Foreigner as if they were equals and supporting the Euro. Knife sharpening time I think."