Government Hands Over £1 Billion To One Of Their Mates.

The Tories hace decided to give £1 billion to a recruitment company to recruit army personnel, while, at the same time, sacking over a thousand soldiers. We asked a Tory spokesperson to comment; "It makes perfect sense if you think about it. We sack a thousand soldiers, move others out of recruitment and then hand over £1 billion to a recruitment company that, coincidentally, donates money to the Tory party. What's wrong with that? At the same time the officers and NCO's presently working in recruitment can then be sent to Afghanistan to be killed after which they can be replaced by new recruits at lower pay. It all makes good business sense and were very excited about it. Unfortunately we can't do the same in the Civil Service because there's nowhere we can send them to be killed." We asked the recruitment company in question for their view; "We will bring modern recruitment methods to the process of selecting soldiers," a 20 year old executive told us. "We have new questions to ask potential recruits such as "What have you done in previous jobs to encourage diversity," and "Describe to us a situation in which you've had to kill someone and how did you handle the situation."