The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 30 October 2011

Bishop Of London Not Aware Of What His Brain Thinks.


The Bishop of London, Richard Chatres pictured above, doesnt know what he thinks it was revealed today. When asked if he supported the eviction of protestors from St.Paul's he replied, "Who knows? Who knows?" Presumably not him then. We asked him for an explaination; "When one has spent one's life considering irrational ideas it is easy to not understand what you're actually thinking about. Since modern economics passeth all understanding, it is hardly surprising that I don't even understand where I stand on the issue. I've spoken to God about it but he wasn't much help - he doesn't understand modern economics either. I am sure, however, that Jesus would support the eviction since he was famous for his close relationship with bankers and the stock exchange. Did he not say; "My father's house is full of many masions?" I don't suppose for one moment that the protestors own many mansions. I hasten to add that I have no problem with anyone protesting as long as they do it in such a way that nobody notices. The Church has engaged with the finance industry on this subject for about 2,000 years and we expect a breakthrough in our discussions any century now. I would ask the protestors to be patient and await the outcome of those discussions - preferably somewhere else."

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