The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Tory MP Declares War On The Occupy London Protest.




Mike Weatherly, Tory MP for Hove and described by his closest friends as a "smug, self-satisfied git" and famous for having married a prostitute, has declared himself ready to personally boot protestors out the precincts of St. Pauls; "How dare these people exercise their right to peaceful protest when the Tory party doesn't agree with them. I personally am ready to roll up my sleeves and wade in to eject this scum them from St.Paul's." We asked our political editor for his view of this outburst; "The Tories have always had a problem with democracy since they don't actually believe in it. To them the whole 19th and 20th centuries have been nothing but one long inconvenience. As for ejecting "scum" from St.Pauls, it would be a better idea to eject the scum that presently occupy Westminster. As for personally ejecting the protestors - only if he had around a thousand policemen in front of him making sure he didn't chip his nail varnish."

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