Strauss-Khan; "It Was Only A Sexual Assault, So That's All Right Then."

Charges in France of attempted rape against Dominique Strauss-Khan, former head of the IMF and possible candidate for the office of French President, have been dropped like a hot brick. "After carefully weighing the evidence," a French spokesperson told us, "we've concluded it was only a sexual assault and, in France, that is considered to be perfectly acceptable. If a rich dirty old man can't grab a young girl by the crutch then what is the world coming to? Anyway, by good fortune, finding that it wasn't attempted rape after all means that the statute of limitations applies and we can forget all about it. Mind you, I wouldn't leave him alone with my daughter." We asked Mr.Strauss-Khan for a comment but he wasn't available. Instead we did manage to get a comment from someone described as a "close friend"; "I wouldn't leave him alone with my daughter either but that's not the point is it? The people who have accused him of what is little more than boisterous behaviour are unimportant little people who don't count. If people like us are allowed to bankrupt entire nations what's a bit of grab-ass between friends?"