Cameron Throws A Wobbly.

David Cameron, the world's first part-time Prime Minister, has thrown his toys out of the pram over an "independent" enquiry into party funding. The enquiry has concluded that there should be a cap on party donations of £10,000 from individuals but that the Labour party should continue to be funded by the Unions. David Cameron immediately got someone else, Lord Andrew Feldman of Elstree, to voice his objections. "We were hoping to cut the legs off the Labour party," the Lord complained to our reporter, "now we find that these gits are going to stop tax-dodging millionaires from bribing us. It's not fair." We asked an unnamed member of the enquiry for his views; "The problem is that Cameron couldn't pack the enquiry with rabid Tories. It's independent - that's why its called an independent enquiry."