Poverty Figures Reduce Tories to Tears.

In a completely unexpected development today it has been discovered that throwing hundreds of thousands out of work, reducing wages, hiking taxes and causing higher inflation has led to a growth in poverty in Britain. We asked a Tory spokesman why this has reduced his party to tears; "Well," he said wiping tears from his own eyes, "we haven't had such a good laugh since Thatcher was voted in for the second time. We all had a fit of the giggles after Ian Duncan Smith punched the air and shouted "Yeeees!" out loud. After that we couldn't help ourselves. We have sympathy with the poor, after all that costs nothing does it? But I'm afraid all the money in the country has been eramarked for us and the banks so our hands are tied. There's no alternative I'm afraid and, don't forget, we're all in this together." Our reporter had to stop the interview at this stage as the spokesman was seized by another proxysm of giggling and had to be helped back to the office party.