How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.
Monday, 4 February 2013
Tories Welcome Discovery Of Richard III
The Tory party has welcomed the news from Leicester that the long-lost body of Richard III has been found. A Tory spokesman told our reporter; "We feel that the discovery that Richard III was indeed a useless cripple vindicates our present persecution of the disabled. Richard III was an early example of how the evil in our society are always marked by deformity and don't deserve public money to fund their evil ways. Of course because he was a cripple Richard doesn't deserve a burial in Westminster Abbey since this would generate adverse publicity against our fully justified pogrom against the disabled. Its a shame that howling mobs are no longer allowed to kill cripples and defile their bodies after death and we are contemplating bringing in legislation to return the ancient right for anyone to accuse cripples and the deformed of witchcraft."