The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Monday, 11 February 2013

Tim Montgomerie - Apologist-In-Chief Of The Tory Party.

Tom Montgomerie has been at it again in the "Times" today - trying to persuade the Tories that they must emphasise their commitment to "family values." This will show us all, he believes, that the Tory party has a "heart". Unfortunately Tory "family values" are held only by those who can afford them. For them the family consists of Mom and Dad and 2.4 children. Dad works, doing something in the City, Mom stays at home and cooks wholesome dinners made up entirely from fresh ingredients. The kids go to the local academy school, will be expected to get 75 GCSE's at "C" or above, will go to university and then land first-class jobs courtesy of Daddy's friends. They have a dog - not one of those nasty pitbulls but a nice fluffy one - which they take for walks with pooh-bag in hand. The daughter has a pony and will probably qualify for the next Olympics in dressage or show jumping, while the son is expected to win gold in yachting. All are fluent in Latin and Ancient Greek, are thoroughly familiar with Britain's heroic history based entirely on "Great Men" and attend church every Sunday. Meanwhile they are united in their view that anyone earning less than £100,000 is a peasant, that all disabled people are either faking it or crippled because they deserve it, that all the unemployed are natural-born shirkers and scroungers and that Europe is a hotbed of socialist conspiracy. Sounds just like my neighbours - not.

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