How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
IDS Loses Right To Enslave The Unemployed.
A court has found that Ian Duncan Smith, the most smug, self-satisfied and evil man in British politics, doesn't have the right to enslave the unemployed after all. In two cases, that of Cait Reilly from Birmingham and Jamie Wilson from Nottingham, it was found unlawful to force them into unpaid work or to threaten them with a loss of benefits if they refuse. So it's back to the drawing board for IDS whose wet dream of having the power of life and death over poor people is now in tatters. We asked IDS for his reaction; "This is terrible. I am an important person and have a natural right to bully and torture the unemployed as I please. They'll be telling me next that I don't have the right to starve cripples to death or force them to beg in the streets as they deserve. What is wrong with this country? I was only trying to be fair to rich people who really, really don't want to pay tax. What's wrong with that? The real problem is that there are too many people in Britain with a rudimentary education and I still hope that Michael Gove will be able to do something about that soon. Once we can get the scum in this country to recognise my natural superiority and touch their forelock when I glare at them everything will be well. Until then I have to put up with people who still believe they have rights and are in some way my equal. Margaret Thatcher, she of blessed memory, must be turning in her grave."