Saturday, 6 July 2013
MP's: "Give Us A Pay Rise Or We'll Steal The Money Anyway".
The Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA) has warned that if MP's are not allowed an inflation-busting 10% pay rise then they will have no choice but to steal the money instead. "It's a tragedy just waiting to happen," an IPSA spokesconman told our reporter. "Times are tough what with the economy being forced into a completely unwarranted recession by one group of MP's while the rest sit on their hands and do absolutely nothing about the situation. Under these circumstances MP's have no choice but to drown their sorrows in the public purse, or the trough as we like to call it. The only alternative is to pad out expense accounts like they have in the past. You can see the problem can't you? MP's must either steal money one way or be forced into stealing it in another. Important people like MP's shouldn't be forced into criminality simply because the public refuse to indulge their greed which, as everyone knows, is good. The worst thing for Parliament at the moment would be yet another scandal. MP's are delicate flowers who get very upset when they get caught doing something criminal and its our public duty to protect them from that kind of stress. Money has always proven to be an effective cure all for politicians and its important that lots of public money should always be available to attract the right kind of self-serving spivs and conmen into Parliament."