The News In Shorts

How the news would look if everyone stopped waffling and told the truth.

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Osborne Makes Shock Admission Over Food Banks.

George Osborne has made the shocking admission that he's never visited a food bank. The reason for this is quite easy to understand - he lives in one. Not the kind of food bank that doles out canned food close to its "best before" date to the poor however. No, his food bank is a moveable feast that follows him wherever he goes. He pays nothing for this, nor does his family because, despite being a millionaire, he and his family are fed by us the taxpayer. His property portfolio is paid for by us, his travel costs are paid by us, his TV licence is paid by us as is his subscription to Sky TV, he is paid at a rate that puts him to the top 3% of earners in the country, his pension is a platinum plated final salary scheme, he will get a huge golden handshake when he's finally voted out of office and he will shortly be getting a whopping 11% pay rise. Yet, despite his ivory tower lifestyle, the fact that he's never done a real day's work in his life and has never, never visited a food bank or even knows where the closest one is, he agrees with Lord Freud that demand for food banks has increased primarily because the poor are greedy and grasping. Talk about the pig calling the whippet fat. The stark truth is that since the welfare changes were brought in by Osborne and his gang of self-satisfied wealthy scroungers demand for food banks has risen by a staggering 200% and there has not been a single Tory MP in sight at any one of them.

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